Put Downs

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.

Alone: In bad company.

Any friend of yours ... is a friend of yours.

I'd like to leave you with one thought ... but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

It's hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?

If sex were fast food, you'd have an arch over your head.

Better at sex than anyone, now all he needs is a partner.

You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever

Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are.

Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?

Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?

Doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling ---- in your skull?

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

She's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.

Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

He smells the coffee, but can't find a cup.

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

If manure were music, you'd be a brass band.

I wonder how many angels could dance on his head?

I certainly hope you are sterile.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

He's the only man who, if told to screw himself, could do it.

He's the first in his family born without a tail.

He's so dense that light bends around him.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.

Talk is cheap, but so are you.

The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

They shot him through the stupid forest, and he didn't miss a tree.

Too bad stupidity isn't painful.

We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.

When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!

A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too!

You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.

You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!

A demitasse would fit his head like a sombrero.

You will never be able to live down to your reputation!